this is soooooo cool!

Everytime I see it, I just laugh!!!  Enjoy!

and here is how it was made:

Babies!  Babies!  Babies!  it makes me smile…

that and the fact that the son knows EVERY word to Rapper’s Delight…awesome!!!

Friday Funny and some Nail Salon Dialogue.

I had seen this before but today, it caught me up in a giggle storm and after the past few days (weeks, months) I thought I would share with you.

They say to live in Texas you need to know two languages, English and Spanish.  I can barely master English some days, so Spanish stays completely off limits to me. 

I can say one sentence “Mi casa es su casa.”  But apparently, that means “My house is your house” and well…that’s alone is part of my ongoing battle, I am too welcoming.

I submit, that the THIRD language we need to know is Nail Shop Technician…I have always wanted to know what they are saying while they are doing my nails and before I need a bank loan to walk out of there.

 

It makes me think of my own NAIL SALON DIALOGUE, which to this day, is a story I am asked about often…

[SCENE:  Top Nails, local manicure salon.  Saturday afternoon, I am done with my manicure and am getting into my wallet to pay.  There in my wallet is a place to put pictures, which features a photo of Whirly Girl, one of my kids and one of my niece.] 

My technician of choice is Yi-May.  I ADORE her and she has the cutest little girl, who is like a mini-me of Yi May…except with curly hair.  so we talk ALL through my appointment, she is always asking about my daughter or son…but apparently, never bothered to ask if I was attached or single…

(and I am spelling phonetically, only because I can’t do her accent, which is hysterical.  kind of a Vietnamese, Texan/Boston vibe.)

Yi May:  “StephOknee, yo boyfreed, he looook lika guerrrl.”

Me:  “who”

Yi May:  “yo boyfreed, he looook lika gurl.”

Me:  “he is a girl.”

Yi May:  “yo boyfreed isa guerrl?”

Me:  “Yes”

Yi May:  [squinting and looking at me] “reeeelly?”

Me:  “Yes, he’s, SHE’S a gurl, girl.”

Yi May:  “oh.” [more squinting] “OOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!” [giggling ensues]

About that time Whirly Girl walks up to the door to retrieve me and all she hears is

Yi May:  “StephOknee, dere’s yo GGUUUUURRRRfriend!!!”  [more giggling]

apparently, Yi May and I now have a secret.  wait for it….

I have a girlfriend.  A new American Style Girlfriend….

maybe it’s just me…

in the past four days, I have had 94 spam comments for my blog entries regarding odd things…

Erectile Dysfunction – apparently, I can buy these little pills that will do wonders for my symptoms.  (note:  forward to the Respondent)

Something in Russian – probably the same pills.  I guess I didn’t realize that ED was so prevalent in Russia.

Estate Planning – is God trying to tell me something? 

Dateless?  Lonely?  Horny? – There are no less than 300 people searching for me tonight.  hmmmm…sounds like someone is getting lucky tonight…it’s a simple click away.  I better go check with Whirly first…

Insurance Quotes – apparently, FROM MY BLOG, I can shop my insurance, get three quotes immediately and print my new cards from home.  One is offering a new coffee pot and a free three month trial of Gevalia coffee.  hmmmm…I DO need a new coffee pot…

Serious multi-tasking is at hand…I need to get busy, busy, busy…

this makes me laugh…

Happy Thursday…

 

awkward is…

I can’t decide which is more mortifying for me…

…the fact that I was dancing (yes dancing) in my office to ‘NSync when the door was opened by a co-worker with a look of suprise and amusement on her face…

…or the fact that a vendor just called me back and apparently, I didn’t hang up when I decided to sing “Everlasting Love” at the top of my lungs in the same office.

And it’s just Tuesday…

*sigh*

I need a nap….

I can’t show you, but I can walk you through it.*

*This is an actual statement that was made in my presence Friday by Tanner to her nephew.  I will let your imagination wander as to what they were talking about.  But it was funny!!!!

I have decided that Memorial Day weekend is a great time to ship the kids off for the weekend and just watch marathon after marathon of craptastic television programming.  Seriously, check this out, in no particular order:

Bones marathon (I love this show!!!  seriously, haven’t missed an episode!!!  Zach rocks and they need to bring him back!!!  I mean, how cool, season finale had the Crue on it.)

Golden Girls marathon  (I think I have seen them all, twice…in a marathon format)

Law & Order: SVU marathon  (again…thank GOD for Tivo.)

Intervention marathon  (this is so depressing, I can’t watch it unless I get to enter therapy after)

Rehab:  Party at the Hard Rock marathon (newest fascination…stumbled onto it today…it’s amazing!  drunken, almost naked and a pool…apparently what happens in Vegas, doesn’t stay in Vegas if it’s syndicated!!!)

Beverly Hills 90210 marathon  (Whirly heard the theme song and made me change it)

iCarly marathon (don’t ask)

You know, this is how it all started, my love of VH1 Celebreality crapalicious programs…me and Flavor of Love…and a nasty case of the flu…

Now, I didn’t sit around and watch all of this shit all day…I Tivo’d ALOT of it (well, not THAT much)…so I just have to plan the next long weekend to watch it all…

I wish to Thank the Academy…

whoo-hoo….!!!!

I was awarded a pretty little award by I’m Not Benny and being the genius that I am, I couldn’t post it yesterday.  But today is a whole ‘nother story.

What does one say in a time like this?  Who to thank?  Well let’s see…

My family, for inspiration.  For aggravation to the point of distraction, and enough emotional blackmail and childhood trauma to fuel my ramblings.  I wouldn’t be who I am if it wasn’t your fault!!!  (this sounds MUCH funnier in my mind than it probably reads, so take as the compliment its supposed to be.)

My friends, I couldn’t make it up without them.  Seriously…these folks are FUnny!!!!  And they call me on my shit, which is decidedly un-funny. 

My Unicorn-Man, for keeping the dream alive…

And to my Blogosphere family…you inspire me to keep writing.  Thank you , Queenie, Benny, Ursula, Blonde Goddess, Mommypie, among many, many others; you are as cool and entertaining to read as I hope to be when I grow up!!

[cue swelling music]

You like me!!!!  You REALLY LIKE ME!!!!!

I Look Good In Red…

No, it’s not your eyes.

Yes, I have changed a few things.

Check it out, mosey around.   Check out some of my Blog Family and see what they are up to. 

There’s good stuff a-brewing:

A Graduation Blog (subtitle:  We Never Thought We’d Get Here!!!)

A Vacation Blog  (We are taking the sister, the niece, the mother and Tanner…this one oughta be good)

A Daughter Moving Out Blog (subtitle:  When Mommy Loses Her Mind)

A Moving Blog (actually about Moving)

A New Town, New Folks Blog ( hell, this may end up a new category)

A Small Town Musings Blog (again, may be a new category)

 

Funny stuff in store, folks, because the summer is upon us.  And we all know what happens to my world when you mix summer, no school, kids and chlorine…

*sigh*

Things that make me go hmmmm….today.

After my gut wrenching post yesterday, not that it’s not still a valid place for me…I decided to give back a little bit.  Remember that I said, I can still find stupid in the world?  And that stupid translates into phenomonally funny for me?  well…I decided to jot down a few free flowing funny ideas to share…so, HERE!!!

• I haven’t seen my unicorn-guy in a while.  Does it mean, once  I acknowledge him, he doesn’t exist, like leprachauns?
• Is it just me or does Daisy from Daisy of Love look like a Muppet?
• I love the Clinique Ginger Rose lipstick that I just got.  And why did Whirly’s mom send it to her?  Whirly doesn’t WEAR MAKEUP!  Go me!
• I am now fascinated with the game Baggo…not particularly the game, but the fact that in Kentucky and those parts, it’s called Cornhole and there is an American Cornhole Association!  Tanner called me obsessed…perhaps I am.
• Or the fact that saying American Cornhole Association makes me feel kind of durty and naughty.  And it makes me giggle every time.  Pervy Steph!!!
• Perhaps I need medication, like anxiety stuff.  But that makes me anxious thinking I need medicine.  It’s a conundrum, right?
• What is a conundrum exactly? 
• I think I need to move all the posts I have written about and for Tanner to their very own category, simply because shit like this doesn’t happen to anyone else I know.
• I miss my daddy.  He would help me find the unicorn-guy…and laugh about the ACA with me.  Well, he would after scolding me about being pervy…

hmmmmm……

Today is a new day…

There is pain, suffering, loss and guilt enough to last many lifetimes over, it can swallow me whole and I can dwell on so many of the negatives each day, that I run out of words.  I could run out of hope.  But then, the bad, negative things win…

I can’t let that happen, not now…not today…

I have decided, in about the last 45 seconds that today is going to be a good day.

I may not have a comma in my bank account…but it’s a good day.

I may not have a college education to further my career…but it’s a good day.

I may not have the girlish figure that I dreamed of…but it’s a good day.

Why?

I have my faith.  I have my family.  And I have my friends. 

And I shall rejoice in the knowledge that today is a gift.  That my faith surrounds me, comforts me, holds me fast and is constant. 

That my family is here, now, in this moment with me.  And are a blessing to me.

That my friends love me, as I love them and they are each an integral force in my life that helps me take every step. 

I am here, now, in this moment.  And for that, I am grateful.

For that, I am joyful.