Tanner, oh Tanner…

I love to laugh.  Loudly and hysterically if I can.  I have been told that I have an infectious laugh.  I tend to think that it’s because most people start laughing AT me, not with me….

I tend to laugh hardest at Tanner these days.  Today was absolutely no exception.

Most conversations happen on IM these days, we are busy folks.  (sure!)  So this leaves all tonality and inflection to the imagination of the reader.  This ensues with much hilarity.

So Tanner has decided to quit smoking and get healthy before she turns 40.  Which is in the next 30 days.  So Tanner is going to undo 39 years of debauchery and abuse in the next 4 weeks. 

She has quit smoking.

She has given up sugar.

She has given up caffeine.

She has given up junk food.

She is allergic to duct tape.  (more on that to come)

She is apparently ready to give up all known friendships. 

And she apparently loves fruit. 

However, as a co-worker found out today….fruit does not exactly love her.

So, we are IM’ing today…she has decided to take an innocent remark that I made and run ’round the left with it…so once I brought her back, got myself off the ledge and made sure everything was ok, our conversation got absolutely hysterical…

Tanner informs me that she is simply cranky because she wants a cigarette.  Either to smoke, gnaw on or digest, it apparently doesn’t matter at that point, she wants the Marlboro man to ride in on his horse and rescue her.  Her Nicoderm patch apparently is repelled by her skin (probably the fruit!) and she has resorted to DUCT taping the patch to her arm. 

She is, by the end of the day, having an allergic reaction to the duct tape.  Which only furthers her need for a cigarette, a Dr Pepper and a bag of chips.

I feel for her co-workers…and the poor dogs. 

She then informs me that fruit is not her friend.  Nor the friend of her co-workers as it tends to make her quite gaseous.  And when I am reading this for myself, I start laughing. 

And it gets harder to breathe.  Or talk.  My co-workers had to come check on ME because I was damn near laying in the floor.

Tanner is a turd of the highest order.  She kept asking her co-worker to “pull her finger” and giggling like a 7-year-old boy when the co-worker did so.  Last I heard, they were closing the office early, due to carbon monoxide poisoning.  Not nice Tanner.  Not nice at all. 

I don’t think that’s how you go about getting promotions, I could be wrong, but farting on employees isn’t quite kosher…

I tried to encourage her to quit smoking.  However, the sugar-free, caffeine-free, junk food-free change in life was all her.  I suggested maybe not all at once, but to “wean” her body away from the toxic amounts of crap she has ingested. 

Going cold turkey all the way, well that just leaves you hungry, bitter and well…non-sexed.  You may end up slimmer, trimmer and fitting into those jeans from high school….but you are not gonna have a friend left.  And your family has already decided they like me so much more than you….you may want to rethink it.

I gave up caffeine in January, I don’t eat a whole bunch of junk, but I don’t deny myself a burger now and then.  I have started smoking again after a 3 year sabbatical (boo hiss on me, I know) but I can put it back down pretty easy.  So I am not worried about how the lack of nicotine affects me.  Plus, well, I will be Tanner’s only friend, so I am golden, correct?

So back to our conversation, she is telling me about the fruit farts, how her co-workers are dying slow deaths in the office and she’s just sitting in it.  Laughing and grabbing more grapes.  I keep telling you.  Turd.Highest.Order.

I now have a mental picture of Tanner, by the end of the week…

She is in her closet. 

There are Dr Pepper cans strewn about.

She has potato chip crumbs in her hair and grease on her face.

With pieces of duct tape mixed in with the chips.

And the whole time, she is mumbling about “cleaner living by 40.”

THAT image sent me over the edge.

For the love of Jayden.

Grieving the death of a loved one is hard. For most, one of the hardest things to do.

I think THE hardest thing to do is to grieve the death of a child.  In any way, shape or form.  No amount of comforting words, thoughts, prayers or touches seem to help.

Tanner lost her nephew on Tuesday.  Jayden Alexander Tanner.  He was 19″ long and weighed 5 lbs, 11.5 oz.    He left before she could say hello.  And he is in such a better place.  He had other plans for this angel.  And it’s not fair.

Jayden was diagnosed with anencephaly at 4 months.  The past 5 months has been agonizing to live through.  There have been wonderful moments, laughter and good times…all tempered by the knowledge that this was not going to have a happy ending. 

So we all pushed it out of our minds and moved on with the daily grind. 

In the past few days, I have seen how a family pulls together, loves each other through a tragedy and how their faith carries them.  I thank God above that they had each other.  I have seen my friend exhibit such a power of grace and strength.  I am in awe of her. 

At one point, I was so broken up, that she comforted ME!!!!  And then we laughed as we realized somehow, it had gotten backwards. 

I had always thought that Tanner was more family to me than a friend and this has proven it.  I have not stopped thinking of her, her well being, her pain or suffering.  I figure, “she’s worrying about everyone else, someone needs to worry about her.”  So I took it as my job.

I had someone remark about how hard this has hit me.  That I have taken it on as my own personal situation.  Which I thought was (1) a bitch thing to say and (2) hopefully not true.  As it’s not my intention.  I am close to Tanner.  And out of respect for her, her family, for Jayden…I have simply tried to comfort Tanner.  And not once have I intruded upon the family. 

I can’t seem to get my head or heart wrapped around this.  I hurt for my friend, her family, the parents, the big brother.  It hurts to my core.  Maybe that’s the “mommy” in me.  I have thanked God profusely over the last three days about my children.  And the guilt that comes with the fact that mine are ok…

Jayden.  What a sweet name for such a sweet soul.  Only God knows what the lesson in this was.  Or will be.  It’s not mine or Tanner’s or anyone else’s to question, but that is all we can seem to do.  Ask the WHY? of it all.

Tanner, know in my soul that soon you will have peace.  You have His comfort.  Healing will be slow, there’s no way around that.  You will count it in hours, then days, then weeks.  One day you will realize you haven’t counted how long it’s been.  It just happens.

Jayden is far better off than we are.  He is perfect, he is beautiful and loved.

 

 

Godspeed Jayden Alexander.  You have many here that love you and miss you.  Please watch over them.

I now have the proof that I am not as young as I used to be.

you know…you really can’t relive your glory days, unless you have friends that will not let you forget them.

and oh, how I love my friends.  and digital cameras…and Facebook…

we are almost there, the house is 95% packed and the lease is signed.  We have utilities, satellite TV, and the UHaul all taken care of…

we decided it was time to party!!!  one last throw down before we leave the casa…

Tanner decided that it was the night to make sure I was right and intoxicated…it was her mission of sorts.  Mission accomplished.  I believe her battlecry was “I’m gonna get you drunk…”  yea!!!  Drunk Stephanie…because I am so not that person usually…

There was a time in my life that I could bounce back from a night of debauchery the next day.  There was a time when I wouldn’t remember such a night.

This was not one of those nights.  I can remember every detail of the evening.  If I can’t, I have many that can remind me.

A few notes…

Note #1…do not let me drink Bud Light Lime.  Or Miller Chill.  Or anything with a lime taste to it.   This leads to sharpening of my gag reflex skills and I don’t like that.

Note #2…do not dare me to pants someone.  Sorry Tanner. 

Note #3…don’t dare me.  period.

Note #4…you are now forewarned…as I am a kissy kind of person (yeah…Ima kisser)…if you feed me alcohol, I will become a kissy drunk person.  do so at your own risk.

Note #5…do not expect my water volleyball skills to improve with each beer…they do not.

Note #6…do not leave your camera laying around or you will get lots of random, white out, blurry or too dark pictures of my face, my nose, my eyelid, my hairline or whatever else I am aiming at.    Again, sorry Tanner.

Note #7…if you post said pictures and link them to me…I am not going to be a happy recovering person…

Note #8…my beer goggles are magical…not only will they make everyone pretty…they will make me smarter, you smarter and they will render me hard of hearing.  (apparently I did not hear conversations that were directed AT ME!!!!)

Note #9…do not ask me for advice while I am drinking…even a little bit…as my advice will cause you to do things you will hold against me for the forseeable future. 

Yes…we had fun.  apparently, I had WAY alot of fun…and I don’t think I have a friend left that I haven’t kissed…which can be awkward…or not…depending on the friend…

it’s a good thing I have me an understanding girlfriend.  Because she hasn’t quit laughing at me yet.

and it took me 2 days to feel right…

 

*sigh*…I am not as young as I used to be.

I’m a Ramblin’ (Wo)Man…

Well, we have gotten to the point that we are counting hours until vacation time.  Meaning, the son, has been counting down hours for the past 7 days…

“It’s only 168 hours, 167 hours 166 hours until we leave, right mom?”

whoo-whee, I need this vacation.  we skipped a vacation last year because with gas at $4.69 a gallon, driving to work was a vacation! 

so, summer is here (well technically, in 4 days) and I am mindful that summer is both a blessing and the bane of my existence.

The kids have a pool, DVD players, XBox, computers, Playstations, PSP and Nintendo DS’s.  Did I mention they HAVE A POOL? 

They have basketball, skateboards, bicycles, games, books, legos and a park ACROSS THE STREET…

and they are bored….

well, the son is…the daughter is a party animal and doesn’t come home except to sleep and shower.  Not really, kinda….she works all day, then it’s play time.  So I have seen her a total of about 40 minutes since graduation.

This vacation will trap her in a car with me for 8 hours.  And then in a condo for 6 days….except when we are on the beach.

Now, we all know how the daughter and I are like gasoline and a match in the car…but we have two others riding with us that are a buffer.  And Whirly has gotten me some Tylenol PM, so I will knock myself out and sleep most of the way…I hope.  It would be a real pisser to start a vacation fighting for control of the radio.

This is the first vacation in THIRTY years that my sister, my mom and I have all been on together.  Last time was S. Padre Island when I was nine.  We had a blast.  Well, the sister and I did….chasing sand crabs across our mommy’s feet!  She didn’t seem to appreciate this as much as we did.

We’ve decided to pack up the daughter, the son, the daughter’s bestie (and my favorite friend), the mother, the sister, the niece and one of my besties Tanner…

this should make for a glorious trip.  We will either all love each other or hate each other by the time we get back. 

I sure hope it doesn’t turn into some weird episode of Survivor and we start voting people off.  Because there’s only three cars and someone is gonna get left behind.

Wish me luck.

To a “T”…

You may have noticed, I have moved a couple of posts over…further, I have added a new category for my world views…”It’s Her World, I Just Live In It.”

I went to school with this chick…she was THAT chick…the one that always had some smartass answer to EVERYTHING, and it just sounded cool.  She was friends with everyone, geeks, burners, jocks, cheerleaders, nerds…all of ‘em….

except me.  jerk.

Fast forward twenty years and the advent of MySpace…we become MySpace “buddies.”  Online friends.  With a shared history.  And then I notice, in her “status updates” she’s having a hard time with something.  I don’t know what it is, but it’s ongoing for several days.  Something in me says “reach out to her, she may need a friend.”  So I do, and she did.

But so.did.I.

Now, two years later, we at times, share a brain.  We can finish each other’s sentences and can read each other’s minds.  She can tell if I am having a bad day with one sentence on IM or my lack of logging in to IM…and I can tell when she’s down, by what she DOESN’T say…

Yup…Tanner is (as I’mNotBenny would say) made of Awesome.  I have a small circle of friends, that I depend on.  And she fits this crew.  The only thing that worries me is when Tanner and Kenner decide to gang up on me…it hasn’t happened yet…but God help me when they do.  Cause no one knows me like my Kenner…and Tanner is willing to bribe folks.

Everyone has that one friend that the WEIRDEST shit in the world happens to them.  Tanner is that friend for me. 

Tanner dates crazy.  I mean, they aren’t crazy when she starts dating them, but they end up that way.  I am convinced that she exudes some sort of musk that is like catnip, but I cannot confirm it.  I have threatened to take her to the vet and have her scent gland removed.  But she’s squirmy and I can’t get a grip.

Tanner has crazy animals.  Not just dogs…but wildlife.  seriously…check the blog.  This chick has possums in her bed.  It’s not normal that a person have to check in their bed for rabid animals before they climb in, unless they have just bought them dinner…

But the dogs, good God, the dogs.  Destiny is pretty chill…she’s learned to roll with the punches and dip, dive, dodge and dip the crazy.  But Dakota, aka Satan, aka Sybil, aka Fucker…she is insane.  AND HUGE.  I compare it much to having 8 new babies at home, demanding attention in every waking moment.  I am deaf in my right ear, because when we talk, a 15 minute conversation consists of “Hello” and 14.45 minutes of “STOP IT!!!!  Get  DOWN!!!  STOP IT!!! FUCKER!!!”  yeah…good times.

And Tanner hates the phone, well….with the exception of text messages, picture texts and phone sex, none of which I choose to share with her…but that means, my phone calls go unanswered.  Thank goodness I am not lying in a ditch or stranded with no gas.  Cause unless I text her or send her a picture of my broke down ass…I am SOL.

Tanner life.  You can’t make it up.  Truly.  However, it is purely fuel for my blog fire.  Because with every new story, my imagination runs completely amok…

yeah, it’s her world, I just live in it.  Enjoy.

Single Ladies!!! Pay attention!!!! You don’t want to pass this up…

February 10, 2009 – Tuesday 

Single Ladies!!! Pay attention!!!! You don’t want to pass this up… Current mood:Pimp-ish & FUuunnny!!!!! In my youth, I was shy, well, more introverted than anything else.  As I have gotten older, I have gotten much more comfortable in my skin.  And I have found, as well as everyone else, I will talk to anyone.  Especially if you are attractive, smiling and look like you can form a complete sentence.  Makes me a pretty smashing wingman……. As I have found my love in life, I wish to share this bliss with as many folks as I can.  So I have become a matchmaker of sorts……. I introduce folks that I think will hit it off and become great friends.  And to that extent, I have done so with amazing success.  I love my funny folks and love hanging out with my crew……. Hi-evah…there is a fly in my ointment and knowing me…I can’t let it rest.  I introduced my buddy Tanner to someone less than what Tanner needed.  Then Tanner decided to try it on her own (NEVER a good idea) and that chick was crazy!!!…. So, I promised to help.  So….here goes……. Tanner (n):   Female.  Guitar Hero Dominator.  Dakota’s favorite chew toy. ….    aka Batman, Tammie, She That Must Date. .... This chick is greatness on two legs.  Loyal to her family and friends.  She can sustain a conversation, is gainfully employed and wants to meet new people to spend time with.  She is loved by many…….   and looking for The One.  Could that be you?…. Funny, smart, always up for new adventures…and she has quite the imagination, so you need to be ready for anything.  Anything.…. Tanner simply wants someone to share this with.  Tanner collects….toys, gems, dogs, guitars…she is a big kid in the best ways.  She’s looking for:…. *Female…. *Employed…. *oh, yeah…gay!…. *Animal Lover (definitely)…. So, if you like:…. *Being appreciated….. *Adventures, all sorts of adventures……. *Pups…she’s got two……. *Laughing.  A ..LOT..…. *Having fun….. *Camping…. Then buckle up…Tanner’s your girl….. ‘cause see….chicks dig her…….. interested, let me know…I will let her know……. as always…share the news…Tanner is on the market!!!….

Where the Wild Things Are

Posted on Tanner’s MySpace, ghostwritten by me…it’s actually one of my funnier moments…

Monday, May 04, 2009 

Where the Wild Things Are Current mood:  surprised   Most times, when I tell the story of a wild animal in my bed, it borders on porn.  Not this time.  Not this wild animal.  The Dynamic Duo (otherwise known as Destiny and her demon sidekick Dakota) have long held to the belief that they belong in my bed.  They simply allow me to SHARE it with them.  With this belief, comes they may do or bring anything to bed that they deem necessary to ensure a good night sleep.  I need to learn my lesson.  Last night, after a long day of recovering, I decide it’s bedtime, 10:30 or so.  I set the house alarm (important fact) and head for the bedroom.  Once their Majesties get their hindquarters settled, I slip into my corner of the king sized bed and drift off, dreams of straight girls, 3 beers and a rainy night.  Sweet dreams… About 1:00 AM, I roll in my sleep, reaching out to make sure that Dumb and Dumber are soundly sleeping.  OK, furry thing in bed…all’s wel-wait…. THIS furry thing feels different.  Okey-dokey…let’s try again… Yes, furry….  Yes, different…not so okey-dokey. I then decide that the not knowing isn’t a good thing IN MY BED, so I turn on the light to find…   AN OPPOSSUM!!!!!!!!!  Yes, you got it…a freaking ugly opossum. Once I (a)freak completely out (b) peel myself off the ceiling and (c)comprehend that there is an Opossum IN MY BED!!!!…I take a closer look;     It’s a baby (like I give a crap!) and only 10” long minus the tail (like I give a crap!)  And.it.is.dead.  Right? OH!!!! NO!!!!  It’s just PLAYING Opossum…good times. I learn this little factoid when I grab a towel and think I am going to wrap up the dead animal from my bed and throw it out…alas, as I go to grab said dead animal…it magically springs to life, hissing, clawing and biting at any of my girl parts it can get it’s devil mouth to land on!!!  Where is Dynamic Duo, you ask?  Well, they are sitting on the sidelines are of no help whatsoever, they are simply cheering whomever they can on…and staying out of the way of teeth, claws and my foot!!!   Remember that the house alarm is set?  Imagine the loads of fun I have, wrestling with said wild, formerly dead animal and the alarm!!!  As talented as I am fending off wild women, this is freaking me out at 1:00 AM!!!! I get the Beast out the door and I swear as it waddles off, it turns, gives me the stink eye and flips me off… I am my own episode of Wild Kingdom…where’s Marlin Perkins when you need him?

Clash of the Titans

This is the first of I am sure many ghostwriting assignments for Tanner…it writes itself…

Wednesday, December 17, 2008 

Clash of the Titans Current mood:Chew Toy     Ok, where do I start?     Somehow I got this idea that Destiny (my dog) needed a buddy.     A person at work had a litter of puppies that I just had to adopt one.     I brought home the sweetest puppy and named her Dakota.  Well let me tell you what has transpired since this beautiful adoption took place.    Day One, she slept in bed with me and Destiny, but was up every two hours to go to the bathroom.  She is too little to get off the bed, and does not understand the use of a doggy door at this time.  So being the good mother I am, I was up and taking her out every two hours.     This went on for 4 nights, then I became too tired to hear her cries, or acknowledge the chewing off of my face, and she peed on me.  TWICE.   So I then had the bright idea of making her a bed on the floor next to my bed, and strategically place a couple of puppy pads on the floor, just in case, I again did not hear her cry.    Well I heard her cry alright, all fricken night  because she could not get in the bed with me.   So where we now; two weeks in and I now sleep on the couch with a nice bed made up for my baby on the floor next to me. I have learned if she can see me she is OK with this sleeping arrangement.  She can now hold it longer that 2 hours but insists on coming up to the side of the couch and chewing on whatever is exposed at the time to get my attention.    And for those that know anything about me, this can be a very painful endeavor.   The other issue, my feet and ankles.  I now have a new routine when I get home which consists of the following: I come in, take Satan out to potty.  Love on her for a few minutes and then proceed to change clothes, which must be done at lightening speed.    If I am lucky she will just make off with one sock and spare my swollen bloody stumps that are now my feet.  I then make a mad dash for anything higher than 2 feet off the ground for safety, and am joined by Destiny, who has had all she can stand as well.    The mornings, pretty much the same, although I have learned she can not get in the tub, so that is the safest place to get ready in the mornings.   This dog will chew on anything that is not nailed down, or moves.  Somehow all the chew sticks, toys, etc.  I have bought have absolutely no appeal to Satan.    I have also learned the word “NO” in puppy language means, “Please bite me harder and make it bleed, and use the sharpest teeth in your little Satan head to do so, and growl.”   Just in case anyone wants to adopt a puppy, I have a few words of advice: Sleep, there is no such thing. Cute, last about 2 nights. You are officially the new chew toy. No matter how loud you yell “No!!!”, it means absolutely nothing.   So if you would like to adopt a puppy, I have one for you.

You want random? You got random…

Yup…’nother MySpace blog…I guess I do some of my best work over there…well…here too…but I want everyone to share in my randomness…to know me is to well, know me…

If you know me, and since you are my friend on MySpace, chances are you do…then you know that I am above all other things…random… So, it should come as no suprise, that I have random telephone conversations.  Most of the time…with none other than Tanner… Yesterday’s, tops.the.list.  I called to check on my friend, so see how her “mental health” was holding up.  We do this with each other.  Actually, I can make Tanner laugh like no one else and she makes me feel funnier than I probably am…which is definitely good for the ego… So, the conversation starts, we are talking about some home videos and how it all is… ….then we change subject, and it’s about the son’s XBox for Christmas…. ….then next subject, 30 seconds later, we are talking about the daughter and Lil’ Wayne and our choice of music… …then wham!  15 seconds later, we are talking about porn.  Not any porn…but specifically, what type of porn is gross, what isn’t, if a plot is necessary, soundtrack music, directors, etc, etc, etc.  Now mind you, we aren’t talking in great detail ABOUT porn, just porn in general…and it goes for 40 minutes!!!! I don’t think the films last THAT long, do they?  Let me tell you…I can crack a joke about porn..it’s funny…if you really think about it…and it wasn’t a conversation that was disgusting or gross, really…it was more me making suggestions for things and Tanner laughing…although I did figure out what to get her for Christmas, and it’s not at ALL what you are thinking… perverts… …then WHAM!!!  we are talking about Dakota, her puppy, how she is teething on Tanner’s feet.  And if Tanner REALLY thought that Destiny needed a new best friend…a PUPPY new best friend.  How Dakota was an angel at her Aunt Amie’s house and then showed her true nature and tried to eat Tanner’s pants when they got home. …then 30 seconds later…new subject…we discussed the New Year’s Eve party and what we are doing, who is gonna be there, what we need to have to eat and drink… …then Whirly made me get off the phone…we had Christmas shopping to do and a work party to attend.  this isn’t anything new…this is how Tanner and I roll…on the phone, on IM, in person…we are the most random of people and have found that in the random, we have found commonality. this ought to make for a fun New Year’s Eve party, yes?

A call to arms…and legs…

(I have found that most of what I post on MySpace, I actually move here as well, this was a funny I did for a friend today and thought I would share…she’s one of my besties and it made both of us laugh for a very long time!!!  If you have read over there, then my apologies, but it’s my blog and I can steal my own material if I want!!!!)

 Current mood: bouncy

 

WANTED:

 

A GIRLFRIEND.

 

This said Wing(Wo)Man, Stephanie, is needing to help Local Stud find some tantalizing company.

 

 Requirements being:

v     You must be breathing

v     You must over 21.

v     You must have girl bits.

v     You must have a job.

v     That pays.…

v     You must be able to cut your own meat.

v     You must fish.

v     You must be able to walk and chew gum at the same time.

v    You must be hygienically sound.

v    You must adore her bestie Wing (Wo)Man!

 

 

Do NOT even think about applying if:

v     You have boy bits.  (This girl is gay!)

v     You have not been single more than 30 minutes. 

v     You are not sure of your sexuality.  (She is up for a challenge, but you better know what you are in for!)

v     You are clingy, needy, bi-polar, butchy, or dramatic. 

v     You have crazy friends.

v    You have bad breath.

 

  

You must first complete the application process with said Wing (Wo)Man, you must pass the security check, the credit check, the crazy check, physical and there will be a probationary period.  Bribes and boobies are accepted and encouraged.

 

 

You will not get past Wing (Wo)Man if you break crazy, threaten me,  show up at my home uninvited, camp in my yard, camp in her yard, drunk dial me, or stalk me and my friends on MySpace, Facebook or the WorldWideWeb.

 

If you do not get past Wing (Wo)Man, do not despair, there is someone more deserving of your talents than my friend.    They are called boys.

 

 

The Local Stud is looking for a good woman who:

 

v     Will fish. 

v     Likes to be naked. 

v     Or Nekkid.

v     Sometimes while fishing.

v     Will be funny.

v     And creative.

v     And flexible.  Very flexible.

v     Likes to nibble.

v     Enjoys a comfy futon, now and then…

v     Will not date more than one person per day.  Per week…

v     Will not forget her name and call her another.

v     Will not mind multiple …..showers….

v     Will give the proper amount of attention to Friend, at a moments notice.

v    Will give me a damn day off from the needy bitch!!!  (hey! I get something out of this too!!!)

 

 

Benefits to include:

    v     The opportunity to meet said Stud

v     Dates with, well, a Stud

v     Showers (Water, Gems, etc.)

v     Great new friends

v     Serenades from a Karaoke Machine

v     Making out with, well, a Stud

v     Exotic locales (think Lake Ray Hubbard)

v     Luxury Transportation (think Jeep)

v     And you get to hang with, well, a Stud

 

 

(As we live in Texas, there is no major medical, 401K, life insurance or paid holidays provided.  Sorry…Thank the Republicans for that one!!!)

 

You do not have to have your own Freak Flag, one will be provided.

 

 

 

The Local Stud is an equal opportunity dater.  She welcomes all shapes, sizes and styles. 

  

Please inquire within…

 

 

 

Is this ok Tanner?